I see myself moving forward all the time. But it doesn’t mean that life gets suddenly easy and smooth. If anything life can get more complex and raw. Incidents with other people still happen and the discomfort can still be acute. I have had various interactions with family members recently and it has led me to reflect on those discomforts and the best way to handle them.I AM getting better at handling stuff. I do recognise that and a nice, additional benefit is seeing my husband benefit. We are both getting better at standing back from the emotions and identifying what happened in a family situation. Someone was difficult but we realised that neither of us should carry the guilt, just accept that the family member had their own issues.
Another unexpected benefit is seeing a tricky encounter as a “gift”, as you know, I “love” gifts!
So I had a tricky passive-aggressive encounter which played out as a classic. Myself, as the recipient, experienced all the hassle and the combatant’s response was to hold their hands up and portray me as making a fuss about nothing, being a difficult person, etc, etc. I handled it the best I could but the “gift “part was that it reminded me of my father.
I recognised that my father has been an expert at passive-aggressive moves all his life. It gave me a bit more insight into the man I hardly know and how difficult I found him. So often any contact with him I experienced as extremely stressful. Arranging contact was initiated by him but he was impossible to pin down onto exact dates or times. Then he would ALWAYS be hours late or not turn up at all. He was always pleasant, laid back and quietly spoken when he did arrive, no apology or reason for being late. It was very hard to handle as a child, I just had to put it away, I daren’t make any fuss as he might not turn up next time.
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